CEO Of Twitter In Stable Condition Days After Eating At Conservative Restaurant

CEO Of Twitter In Stable Condition Days After Eating At Conservative Restaurant

Jack Dorsey, CEO of Twitter ate his way into his biggest controversy to date when he tweeted that he had bought some chicken sandwiches from one of the most successful food chains in America, Chick-fil-a. After posting his food purchase like so many do, he was attacked by the activist gay community for supporting a company whose leadership have come out as personally straight and in favor of heterosexual marriage. And to top it off, Dorsey made the purchase during the contrived "Gay Pride Month."

Dorsey immediately came out with an apology to stop the attacks from the tolerant Left. But the damage was done. He had eaten fried chicken patties and waffle fries from a straight, Christian-run establishment. Aside from the apology for eating at a conservative restaurant, we haven't heard anything from the social media leader.

Unverified Source inquired about his condition and received this statement from his personal assistant Sarah Reddick, "It was touch and go for the first 48 hours, but we are glad to report that Jack is doing well at this point. He seems to have made a full recovery physically from the initial attack. He will still be seeing a counselor to make sure there are no long-term symptoms to be concerned about, such as making donations to Compassion International or smiling at Christians. He has allowed the leadership team to monitor his Paypal account and other payment tools. So we think he is going to be okay. Time will tell."

The team does have some concerns however. They understand that Dorsey can get cash. "We all know how easy it is for him to slip. He is literally one ATM away from a burger and In-N-Out Burger, or a package of hot glue at Hobby Lobby, and we wouldn't know. But we are determined to keep him on the straight and narrow... or... well.. we are determined to keep him from the 'straight and narrow,'" chuckles Reddick.

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