Trump Threatens Pelosi With Swirly As Political Feud Officially Reaches 8th Grade Level
The ongoing feud between President Donald Trump And House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has reached a fever pitch. The two have been sparring ever since Trump took office after the 2016 election. Each has been trying to one-up the other in a power struggle that is the stuff 7th grade drama dreams are made of. But things have escalated over the last month with the ongoing government shutdown. Trump cancelled a government flight Pelosi was going to take overseas. In return Pelosi has withdrawn use of the House of Representatives for the traditional “State of the Union” address. Pundits have feared the worst, and now it has happened. The feud has reached 8th grade level.
Early on Thursday morning, President Trump tweeted out an unveiled threat to Speaker Pelosi. “Nancy, be careful around toilets. You just might find yourself upside down and getting your hair washed without shampoo. I give the best swirlies. Nobody gives better swirlies than me.”
Pelosi responded this morning in a press conference, “That’s very cute Mr. President. If you find a rotting fish in the briefcase that holds the nuclear codes, I don’t know anything about it.”
A member of the Secret Service, speaking on condition of anonymity tells Unverified Source that a whoopie cushion was found in the oval office, and someone had changed the password on the President’s phone.
White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders says that the President is, “spending a lot of time watching old Tom & Jerry and Roadrunner cartoons to prepare for continuing negotiations with the Democrats. He just wants the government to re-open. And he would rather not have to drop an anvil on anyone or leave a mousetrap in a desk drawer.”
Pelosi’s personal assistant tells us that the Speaker has an ace up her sleeve, and that, “it may involve a Big Mac laced with truth serum.”