Planned Parenthood Calls For Safe And Legal Violence To End Back Alley Shootings In Chicago
Chicago has been a dangerous city for a long time. Certainly the sheer volume of people is going to increase incidents of crime. But there seems to be something else going on. It is not uncommon for dozens of people to be shot each weekend. Last weekend there were 33 shot and a dozen killed. No one seems to have an answer to the violent epidemic. But one organization believes it does.
Planned Parenthood has stepped up with a suggestion. Mary Lundstrom, spokesperson for the 100 year-old group says, "As an organization that has seen the cultural damage done in back alleys, we are recommending legislation that would decriminalize shooting. We call for safe and legal gang hits. We believe that if shooting people was legal, there would be fewer back alley shootings, and less murder in general. Shooting a gang rival is a personal choice. One gang member sees someone from another gang, and they don't want them in their life. They are an imposition. So why should he have to seek out his rival at night behind some dingy building? No. This is 2018. It is time for gang members to have access to safe and legal violence."
An anonymous member of the Bloods gang agrees, "We just tryin' to take care of business. You know. We livin' our lives. But rivals tryin-a hold me back in life. So yeah, if they would change the laws to allow for killing of rivals, that would be lit. Crips ain't real people anyway. You know... they just rivals. Every time I go out at night, I feel like I could be in danger. Shooting at night is dangerous, yo. It would be better if there was a convenient place where I could go and have someone help me shoot them gangstas."
Former Obama strategist and current Chicago Democrat mayor Rahm Emanuel is in favor of the law that would allow gang member to shoot each other in a safe and affirming environment. "This is about conflict resolution. If someone doesn't want to shoot a rival, that's fine. But they shouldn't be able to tell others that they can't. And we think that this could actually bring down the numbers of illegal murder."
Planned Parenthood is eager to roll out a self-protection giveaway. Lundstrum says, "We are ready with free ammo. We know these gang members are going to shoot someone anyway. They should have a safe place to come get bullets. We would like to bring the same level of care to gang members as we have to women seeking abortion."