Perpetually Late Worshipper Cries Out For Salvation After Thinking He Missed The Rapture
Greg Maller is regularly late to church. He isn’t alone. Studies show that as many as 13% of regular attendees walk through the church doors after the service begins. It is so much a part of church life that it has become both a joke, and a stigma. But once a year it causes more than a few giggles.
When the nation reverts to standard time, there is always a group of these perpetually late arrivers who show up early. Greg is one of those. He is one of the early late people, and usually arrives only about 3 minutes late. But on this Sunday he is 57 minutes early. Greg dropped his phone in the toilet on Saturday afternoon and didn’t have a chance to get it replaced. So every clock he owned was still on Savings time. He has no clue. And no one was at church. Not the worship leader. Not the pastor. Not the ushers. Not a car in the parking lot. As he stands in the parking lot with no phone to call anyone, wondering where everyone might be, it dawns on Greg…. “I’ve missed the rapture! The rapture has happened, and the serious Christians went first.”
He immediately runs into the sanctuary to find it empty. He drops into a pew and begins to cry out in impassioned tones for God to save his lost soul. His thoughts immediately go to the Left Behind movies series he saw as a teenager. Greg tries to recall what he should do next, but his mind draws a blank. As he is weeping, he hears a car pull up. He rushes to the door and opens it to find It is the pastor. Greg’s cries turn to screams as he realizes his beloved pastor was left behind as well.
The pastor realizes what happened, and takes the opportunity to have a little fun with Greg. “Well, brother… the bad news is that we missed the rapture. The good news is that the tribulation… the absolute worst time in history will only last 7 years.” After some tense moments the pastor let Greg off the hook. “Greg… you should have known it wasn’t the rapture. The worship team was gone. That should have been a dead giveaway.”
Don’t be Greg.