Nation Sets Aside Differences And Floods Churches To Pray Against Tom Brady And The Patriots

Nation Sets Aside Differences And Floods Churches To Pray Against Tom Brady And The Patriots

It is Super Bowl Sunday, and Tom Brady will be leading the New England Patriots in their quest to win their 6th championship. And once again, America will be rooting against them. Between the constant winning and constant allegations of cheating, the famed franchise has made sports enemies across the nation. So Americans everywhere are setting aside the divisiveness that rules our culture to unite in their hatred against the Patriots. It makes true the old adage, “The enemy of my enemy is my friend.”

On this Super Bowl Sunday, Americans are flooding churches with a singular purpose. The number one prayer request today is that the Patriots are crushed by the Rams. Pastor Jim Daniels of Covenant Life Church in Pittsburgh says, “We had people lined up outside the church at 10:00 last night because they didn’t want to miss the service at 10:00 this morning. I asked them what they were here for. They said they wanted to be as close to God as possible when they said their prayers. Today there is no Republican or Democrat. Today there is only the Patriots and the Americans. And yes… it is ironic that being a true American now means being against the Patriots. But it is what it is.”

Danny Hampton, a long-time Steelers fan was one of those who pitched a tent outside the church. “Yeah… it was subfreezing last night. But it was worth it. I’ll be honest. I’m ready to tell God that I will become a Cleveland Browns fan if He helps the Rams beat the Patriots tonight. Trust me… that is NOT an easy prayer. But I am desperate. We need a miracle.”

Pastor Daniels said that the Patriots returning to the Super Bowl has had some strange effects. “I expect to see a lot of promises made to God go unfulfilled if He answers their prayers. I see it all the time. Hey, this is a big deal. It has even affected me. I will be preaching on David and Goliath today. I jumped on SermonStats.com and saw that 78% of American preachers will be preaching from the same passage. We are also finding that people who had been boycotting the NFL over the national anthem protest are now coming back to watch just so they can root against the Patriots and Brady.”

Dana Schlepp said the Patriots phenomenon is a great thing for her family. “Our family didn’t used to go to church at all. But now we go every Super Bowl Sunday. We are back in church because Tom Brady is a stinking rotten rich boy arrogant spawn of Satan cheater who has single-handedly ruined the game of football. Now we pray for him all the time. We were at church before the pastor this week. God sure works in mysterious ways.”

In fact, the National Evangelical Association in conjunction with the Fellowship of Christian Athletes has declared Super Bowl Sunday a National Day of Prayer.

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