Cleveland Indians Outfielder Admits Steroid Use After Standing In One Place For So Long
Stuart Lawson, who plays right field for the Cleveland Indians is at the center of the latest sports controversy. After an investigation into his ability to stand for hours in one place without really moving around, the right fielder has admitted that he uses performance enhancing drugs, or steroids.
"We knew there was something wrong early in the season," says Roscoe Lankford, head of Major League Baseball Compliance Committee. "It was almost superhuman. He would be standing basically in the same spot all game and never break a sweat. Then when his team was at bat, he was standing around the whole time in the dugout. So basically the only time he would move around was when he was at bat, maybe 4 times per game. Even chess players cannot be that still for so long."
Initially Stewart attributed his incredible inactivity stamina to the great performance of the Indians pitching staff. "It is strike after strike. The ball never comes to me. I'm just pumped. I'm so excited about how great the team is doing, it gives me the energy to stand around for hours," Lawson said in early interviews.
But the undercover film after the game told the story, and ultimately led Lawson to admit to the steroid use. "We saw him standing around after the game signing autographs for kids. Sometimes he would stand their for an extra 45 minutes. After standing around for 3 hours holding a glove, do you think you could stand around for an extra 45 minutes and hold a pen? No... not without some illegal substance in your system," argues Lankford.
Lawson has apologized to his fans and plans to run a clean game from here on out. "After my 5-game suspension, you will see me kneeling and crouching more. I may even sit in the dugout while my teammates are at bat. I may not have the same energy, but I will still have the same passion for this exciting sport."