Following Parasite Scare McDonald's Apologizes For Serving Real Food

Following Parasite Scare McDonald's Apologizes For Serving Real Food

McDonald's is the most popular fast food chain in the world. It has a menu full of fan favorites from its Big Mac, to McNuggets, to the seasonal McRib. Most people find something they enjoy. But we don't know anyone who goes because the food is superb. In fact, many say it is so processed, it doesn't actually qualify as real food.

Recently there was an outbreak of sickness among people who patronize the famed establishment. After an investigation it was discovered that there was a parasite in the salads. Since a salad contain lettuce, it is the only menu item that is made up of real food, thus the only place a parasite could survive. A spokesperson for the golden arches called a press conference and issued the following statement:

"As an industry leader, we always treat seriously anything that occurs in our company that could negatively impact our valued customers. The recent parasite outbreak is serious to us. At first it didn't seem possible. Who ever heard of a real parasite being found in fake food? But then we discovered that we do have one menu item that is primarily real food. The parasite was found in our salads. We are now discontinuing salads. We've suspected for a long time that it is better to steer clear of real food items to maintain a high health and safety standard. This incident reinforced that thought. We know what you expect, and we will deliver on that expectation. From now on, if it isn't processed, we will not serve it to you."

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