Florida Man Self-Identifies As Iowa Man To Avoid Embarrassment Of Being Florida Man
We’ve all seen the headlines. They go something like this - “Florida Man Drowns Wife In Ketchup After Argument Over Condiments”. The sheer volume of ‘Florida Man (fill in crazy activity here)’ news stories has created an internet buzz about what life is like in Florida. It has also created an embarrassment for men in Florida.
One man has had enough. James Belton, who was born in Tallahassee, and has lived much of his life in Daytona Beach is now identifying as an Iowa man. “Every day in the news I was seeing a man from Florida doing something ridiculously insane. The other day I saw a headline that reported ‘Florida Man Rides Bicycle Onto Airport Runway To Race Jet.’ I was done being that guy. Every time I meet someone and they ask where I am from, I have to say, ‘Florida.’ People would give a strange look and awkward laugh. You never hear those crazy stories about men from Iowa. So I now identify as ‘Iowa Man.’ You may say I am ‘trans-state.‘“
Belton could be starting a trend. Although he did run into a little difficulty when trying to get a post office box in Iowa. When asked about his current address, he replied, “I reside in Florida.” The woman in Iowa said, “Oh, you are a Florida man?” “No,” stated Belton. “I am an Iowa man in a Florida address. I’ve been living a lie as a Florida man for most of my life. But now I am done. And you’d better not judge me.” The woman laughed and said, “Okay… okay. Easy there. We don’t want to become one of those headlines, now do we?”
James did consider other states before landing on Iowa. “I thought about California… but wow. I’d rather be ‘Florida Man.’'“