Exclusive Interview With Trump - "No One Is Better At Predicting Hurricanes Than Me"
After a summer hiatus where the actual news was more satirical than the Babylon Bee, Unverified Source is back with an exclusive interview with President Trump. It has been a busy summer for the Propagander-in-Chief. He has battled foreign allies, domestic legislators, his own overweight supporters, and even fired Fox News as his press network.
But this week we sat down with POTUS to discuss the recent situation where he has been at war with the National Weather Service and NOAA about whether or not Alabama was in danger of significant damage from Hurricane Dorian.
Unverified Source (US): “Mr. Trump, on Sunday you warned the people of Alabama that “Alabama, will most likely be hit (much) harder than anticipated.” That never happened, and it was never suggested by any of the leading weather agencies. You’ve since taken a lot of heat for that unfounded prediction. What do you have to say about that?
President Trump (PT): “Well, you are listening to a lot of fake news. I like you. I think you do a great job of spreading unbelievable news. I read your column every day. Great articles this summer, by the way. I read every article in August. But you aren’t a very good weather person. You should leave that to the professionals and people in charge.”
US: “We actually didn’t post any articles after July 14.”
PT: “Whatever. I read them. They were tremendous. But if you say you didn’t post any, well… that’s fake news. I know what I’ve read.”
US: “So who are the weather professionals in your opinion? Because none of the weather professionals predicted Alabama would be hit much harder than expected.”
PT: “Well, me. I’m a weather professional. I’ve been seeing weather for over 75 years. I think when you do something for 75 years, you are a professional. In fact, I am probably the greatest meteorologist in history. A lot of people don’t know that. No one is better at predicting hurricanes than me. I am probably as good as Noah. Maybe better. Noah predicted bad weather. But remember… nearly everyone on the planet died. I would never let that happen.”
US: “Mr. President, did you take a black sharpie and extend the danger cone to include Alabama after the fact?”
PT: “I don’t know. No, I didn’t. But if I did, it was to support my position and make America great again.”