Bulletin Lady Fired After 'Church News' Scandal
A volunteer who has been preparing the Church bulletin for her congregation for over a decade has been fired after it was discovered that her source for the "Church News From Around The World" section was the Babylon Bee. An investigation by the deacon board revealed that she had been doing so for approximately 2 years.
Everyone looked forward to that section of the bulletin every week with disbelief. As church member James Potter put it, "We didn't want to believe what we were reading, but we couldn't stop." Potter went on to say, "It wasn't until there was a disparaging article about the Newsboys that we knew something wasn't right. In fact, some called it sacrilegious. That is when the investigation began."
The pastor, Bob Frazier has recommended the former bulletin editor undergo intense discernment training. He is quick to point out that God has brought something good out of the situation. "Before Sister Gladys added these 'fake news' blurbs, our people didn't know who Steven Furtick was, or that 'progressives’ weren't car insurance customers. But now they know these are lost people we need to pray for. In fact, before the Babylon Bee, we had no Intercessory prayer team. But now we have a strong group praying for the salvation of hipster worship leaders and the collapse of mega-churches. We've even had Millenials join to pray for themselves. God is really at work."
At this posting, the dear saint claims innocence by ignorance and still does not believe she did anything wrong because the stories are close enough to the truth that they cause no harm. And in fact, they raise awareness of serious problems faced by the Church today.